Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
