its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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