Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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