hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
