K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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