Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize