I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
