She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
