But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
