i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
