so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
