Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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