Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
