First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she woke up with a sticky ear
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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