i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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