I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
