Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
