Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
