dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Randomize
