at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
