i just had sex bonerless
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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