Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
