The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
