Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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