You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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