Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
