I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
