Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Randomize
