what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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