Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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