no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
