She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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