OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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