I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
