I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
