Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
