I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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