she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
