after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
