I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
