so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm always down for nudity.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
