you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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