i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize