I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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