I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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