i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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