is your mom at the bar?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
