is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
