Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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