I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
