You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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