I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
