Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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