If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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