ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
