I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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