woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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