I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
