glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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