I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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