a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
