i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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