cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
