Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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