Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
