Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
