Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize