I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
