The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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