Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
